It may come as a surprise to some that the Bible has much to say about sex. And while it may be off limits in some Christian homes, sex is not one of those subjects that is taboo in Scripture. Quite the opposite.

Here are 10 things the Bible teaches about sex.  

It is good!

The Bible has an overwhelmingly positive view of sex. It is not something naughty, dirty, sinful, or wrong. No, it is a good gift of God, meant to be celebrated and enjoyed within the confines of marriage.

Listen to these rather erotic words from the book of Proverbs: “Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19).

Another surprise to many is that there is a whole book of the Bible devoted to celebrating the goodness of marital love – Song of Solomon. All Bible readers will discover that marriage is a good gift of God, and that sexual intimacy is part of that gift. 

It is monogamous

This is to say that sex should only ever be enjoyed with one partner – your spouse. Any form of sex outside marriage is sin (1 Corinthians 6:9).

Furthermore, God’s plan for marriage involves just 1 man and 1 woman. Homosexuality is not God’s plan and is always described in sinful terms (Romans 1:26-27, 1 Timothy 1:10, Leviticus 18:22).  

It is regular

I once heard about a couple that made a habit of having sex once a year on New Year’s Eve. That’s not good. Sexual intimacy serves as a glue of sorts that bonds and strengthens the marriage. It should not be neglected.

The Bible says, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2-3). In others words, sex is not something to withhold from your spouse.

While every couple is going to vary in this, they should strive for frequent sex. For some, that will mean every other night. For others, that will be twice a week, and for others, twice a month.

It is sacrificial

Couples should aim to mutually satisfy one another. The Bible says, love “does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5). If one partner is not “in the mood,” the other partner should do what they can to satisfy their spouse’s need. At the same time, if one partner is exhausted, the other should be willing to hear and accept “no.” This does not mean “never,” but it does mean, “not tonight” and that’s okay.

It can become an idol

The Bible says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5). If sex becomes the “be all end all” in your life, then it is an idol.  Like all good gifts, it can easily be made into an “ultimate” gift. While sex should not be neglected within the marriage, neither should be elevated too high. God alone should hold the supreme place in our lives.

It must be guarded

The Bible says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4). In this culture where temptation abounds, the “marriage bed” can be defiled in multiple ways, not just adultery.

Sex is never something to treat flippantly or casually. People think “a little glance here or there won’t hurt,” but that is a lie. “Let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). The world tells us that there is sex without consequences and responsibility. But this “commitment free sex” always carries with it hurt feelings, insecurities, rejection, STD’s and unwanted pregnancies.   

As stated, sex is a wonderful gift of God, meant to be enjoyed within marriage. Those who stray from God’s plan are headed for trouble. The Old Testament story of Joseph (Genesis 39) is a great illustration of what it means to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

It is not essential to personhood

1 Corinthians 7:25-38 deals with the subject of singleness. Perhaps the last verse is the key verse in the passage. “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.” Both marriage and celibacy are honorable in the sight of God. It is true that not many have the gift of celibacy, but some clearly do.

While sexual intimacy is a wonderful gift, it is not essential to our humanity. Those who are single can best serve God right where they are (1 Corinthians 7:32). The Church has a responsibility to affirm our brothers and sisters in this noble and honorable calling.

It won’t exist in heaven

While we can’t say this with 100% certainty, Jesus seems to indicate that there will be no marriage in heaven (Matthew 22:29-32). There will be no need for sex, nor will there be a need for procreation. 

Reading this probably disappoints some of you, but sexual intercourse is really about much more than just a good feeling. It is about true intimacy. In heaven we will enjoy such intimacy that even the joy of marital sex will pale in comparison. Earthly appetites will give way to infinite delights in heaven.

Children are a blessing

The Bible says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Psalm 127:3-5).

While we don’t often hear this from the culture, God’s word states explicitly that children are a blessing. God told Adam and Eve, “Have children and have lots of them!” (Genesis 1:28, my paraphrase). The fact that something good (children) comes from something else that is good (sex) serves as a powerful illustration of the kindness and generosity of the Creator God. 

There is grace

Where there is sin, be it sexual sin or some other sin, there is grace (Romans 5:20). No one is such a spectacular sinner that they are beyond the grace of God. The Bible makes it clear that there is healing and freedom for those who are sexually broken. No matter how spotty your past is, when by faith you take hold of Christ, your identity becomes rooted in Him. All your sins are washed away (Psalm 103:11-12), and your life is not defined by your failures.  

One of the most hope-filled verses in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 6:11. After going through a whole litany of sins, including sexual immorality, Paul states, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

The Corinthian church had plenty of problems, including that of tolerating grievous sexual sin (see 1 Corinthians 5), but God’s grace abounded in their midst. Many left their lives of sin and were empowered to follow Jesus. Praise God!  

For a helpful resource, check out the author’s “Help! I Want to be a Loving Husband” published by Shepherd Press.